Excerpt from Chapter "Finding Faith"
WHO ARE WE RUNNING FROM?
A little while ago, I had a dream that really troubled me. I was outside walking and I was being followed by someone who I thought to be Satan. I started running, but no matter where I went, he was right behind me. I did all that I knew I could do to lose him but all my efforts failed. I became desperate and tired of running so I made up in my mind, I was going to stop running and confront my pursuer. When I turned around and I looked at my pursuer, I realized that it was not Satan at all – it was Jesus. It was a hard truth that I had to swallow: I had been running from God. “Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?” (Ezekiel 33:11) I had been so comfortable with my situation and lifestyle that I failed to recognize the calling on my life. I had failed to see the wickedness that I was doing by running from God through my actions.
I had been faithful to my church and to my appointed positions but could not hear the Call of God. I began to ask: Does God know all the things that I do for Him? Is not my service and praise to Him enough? Why is He calling me to do things that I am not qualified to do? Has all my work been in vain? God do you understand me or am I misunderstood by You too? These questions sat pitted in my heart, all because I had my back to God. “And they have turned unto me the back, and not the face: though I taught them, rising up early and teaching them, yet they have not hearkened to receive instruction.” (Jeremiah 32:33)
God holds all the answers and gives peace to all the doubts that lay in our hearts, but we must turn around and seek His face. We can be successful in our own strength, but it will be for naught if our hearts are not sealed with God’s love. “Who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts.” (II Corinthians 1:22) We must not let our lives become a service instead of a sacrifice unto God. He wants to teach us and show us who we really are, but it requires a turning from all that we know or have experienced. The Holy Ghost reveals hidden gifts within our hearts; in order to get to these gifts we must be separated from the things that are entangled with our flesh and that have covered our limitless potential. These gifts can not be acquired or obtained through hard work, but they must be given directly from the hand of God.
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